Nakamo

(Image Source) This is an article I've had the idea of for a while but never actually sat down to write. I've felt the feeling a thousand times before, but it has been a while and lately I had it again which made for the perfect refresher for me to write this article. With Borderline Personality Disorder, a lot of times, at least for me, you can feel like you're trying to hold onto lightning in a bottle. You want to grasp everything and hold it tight, never letting it slip away the slightest else you fear losing it completely. This is an awful feeling, and it's one that I dealt with constantly, and still do on a time to time basis. Worrying is the stem of this, the root that makes your mind run rampant with thoughts and "what if" situations that leave you scrambling to feel secure. In these moments, it can suddenly feel like whatever relationship you have with someone is lightning in a bottle and its on the verge of escaping. You'll try to get ass...

Imagine for a moment that there is a big black demon within you, one that controls your mood, what you say, how you think, and for a long, long time this demon causes you to hurt those around you. You will say mean and manipulative things, you will become paranoid and suspicious of what they say and do, and worst of all, you will think you are justified. Over time this demon will subside, you will become more aware of it, it will lose its power, and as you make the effort to be better, the demon inside you dies...but it never really does, the demon only grows smaller, weaker, lying in wait within you for its moment to come back out in whatever capacity possible. You feel it itching, breathing down you; whenever you think you are safe, happy, the little demon tries to claw its way back up and make your mind whirl with thoughts. This is how it feels to recover from BPD. No one truly recovers from Borderline Personality Disorder, they can only improve. I know because I went throu...